….. roll up roll up , hosted by your very own psychotherapist by day , comedian by night , I have some mindful gems up my sleeve and a competition with the usual fabulous prizes .. be there ..
My parents had been arguing constantly, I was an observer of daily passive aggression. One day while we were watching ‘The Great British Bake Off’ they asked me and my older twin brothers whether we thought they should separate. I said “no way” and imagined our family as the ingredients of a big cake, wondering how my parents (the eggs) would extract themselves from the mix, whilst still delivering something remotely palatable. My brothers however had been fighting and were distracted with twin competitiveness, they said “Yes, divorce, we’re sick of you.”
During the 2 year divorce proceedings my parents went to mediation and various solicitors. They began to realise the effect it would have on us – we wouldn’t get to see dad , we may have to move, and we would all be financially worse off.
During those two years we were stressed, anxious and my dad lost his job. I was diagnosed with ADHD, my brother got sick and my other brother started smoking skunk.
Then my parents began holding hands again and said :
“We’ve decided we don’t want to divorce after all,” they looked at each other and said “the grass was greener..” They laughed and kissed.
One of my brothers had gone to uni so was absent to react , the other said “ You’re disgusting, you made a promise, and now you’ve broken it” and I said
“You are irresponsible. You gave us a choice that you hadn’t thought about. Bad parenting you fuckers , I wish I could disown you.”
Tesco no longer sell pickled walnuts. I’d been aware of this for a while in the Tesco delivery run ups to Xmas. I seriously thought I would do without this year and then I began to realise how important they are for me.
Xmas eve and my husband, once discovering what was the matter, went on a mission and found some in Sainsbury’s. Now Xmas can begin, disliking it just that little bit less now I have a walnut. I eat one, then I’m bored and like to have one in a few months time. I enjoy watching them in the fridge, every week or two I pick up the jar to change shelves and bounce them around in the jar.
My First Cigarette
The Great War for Civilization
A bullet ricochets off the tobacco tin covering his heart, into his shoulder
Saves his life – cliché but true
I am 9 years old and the corner shop won’t sell me fags and the machines are empty of 10 soverign filter, no 6 and Piccadilly with the sixpence cello taped on the packet
I take out one of the pre rolled cigarettes from the 1914 Ligget and Myers tobacco tin
Parched, it burns up quickly
A bit falls off and leaves a hole in my brownie uniform
Jenny Morris comes round for tea and we smoke one together
Kevin Bottomley from next door has another
Forty years later there are 6 pre rolled cigarettes left in the Liggett and Myers tobacco tin
I am not giving this to the Imperial War museum as suggested. It is useful for my anxiety to know that they are there if I need one.
I’m very pleased to be displaying a display and performing in a random manor this weekend at the amazing artist Gill Day’s house which will be full of art, fun and performance.
Expect personal poems, songs and premonitions ….. Saturday and Sunday 12-6pm, 224 Ivydale Road SE15 3BU
She surprised me while I was participating in a yoga u tube workout …
With holidays upon us and lots of children doing different things, my latest blog posts for from essex to london in 101 boyfriends of Pelekas amalgamations, similarly to most Easyjet flights to Corfu, will be delayed . It is written but needs a little more editing time. This however provides a chance for newer readers to catch up on reading previous posts over the holidays ….